ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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