After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
