apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Randomize
