addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
