Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
false alarm, still single
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
