you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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