I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Randomize
