I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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