she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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