I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I don't deserve a penis
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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