were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
