No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
