god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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