Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Four minutes until I can fart!
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
