You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
