omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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