i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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