that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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