This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
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