I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Randomize
