Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
