you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
