I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
