What a fucking waste of an outfit
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
