You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
