Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
