I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
