All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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