I need help removing her.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
