I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
