Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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