Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
