You work out of a Hotel?
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
