Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
