he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Even my vagina gasped.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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