Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
