I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
