I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Randomize
