You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
