Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
