she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
foreskin is a definite game changer
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
