After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Randomize
