so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
