Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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