I'm drive I can fine osifer
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I supernannyed him into submission
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
