The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Randomize
