i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
No subtext here. People are naked.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
