Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
