My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
