Will you blow on my dice?
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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