I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
