"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I have grass duct taped all over my body
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
