she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
