What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
it's like iHOP with fire
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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