I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
