Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
