Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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