Small penises have feelings too.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Randomize
