suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
