I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
