I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
where does the pee come out of this thing
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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