Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
