someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
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