Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize